


You Just Got Valentined

by CannibalHello



Category: Campaign (Podcast)
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M, au in which Tryst is bad at flirting, but in a different way than in canon, in that Tryst is a kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2018-12-24 14:24:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12014640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CannibalHello/pseuds/CannibalHello
Summary: Fact: Tryst doesn't like that people assume he is straight.Fact: Tryst flirts near-exclusively with women.Hypothesis: What if Tryst is just really bad at talking to men?





	1. Origins

Tryst wasn’t sure how his sisters had conned him into carting all _their_ junk home, but he was already plotting his revenge as he dropped, exhausted, onto the threshold in front of the Valentine home. Maybe Vous-Vous would think twice about making him do her dirty work if he got sand in all her sensitive bounty hunter gadgets, or maybe he could leave Dalliance’s new costume out for the womp rats to nest in – Tryst continued to brainstorm, his plans growing more and more absurd until someone snapped him out of his reverie.

“Hey Valentine!” Tryst had an idea the boy running up the path had already yelled his name a couple times. As he got closer, Tryst recognized the look on his face – it was the universal expression of a boy about to be shot down by one of the Valentine sisters. He rolled his eyes at the naïve grin. _Kriff, are you blind? I’m not Christmas,_ he thought in the boy’s general direction, already working up a sharp and hilarious remark for when the kid realized. _You’re too young for her, anyway._

“Valentine-“ the boy started, breathing a little hard but still grinning away. Tryst frowned, taking in the five or so feet between them. _Wait, is this guy actually blind?_

Tryst was startled enough that he didn’t say anything remotely witty. Just, “You’ve got the wrong Valentine.” He turned to pick up his bag, expecting the boy to run away. He did not. “I don’t take messages, either. Scram.”

The boy shuffled his feet, grin fading. Tryst felt triumphant, glad everything was making sense again. Then the boy opened his mouth.

“Um, no, I’ve got the right one. I mean, you’re Trystan Valentine, I was looking for you.” The boy grinned in Tryst’s direction again, that bright and hopeful face Tryst had seen on the Valentine doorstep dozens of times. Pointed at him. Tryst. Kid brother and all around lamest Valentine.

Tryst suddenly felt like the whole world was out of order. 

“I’ve been fixing up the old speeder and it’s in pretty good shape now, and I was wondering if you’d want to go for a ride sometime?” The boy continued, plowing through Tryst’s stunned silence. 

Tryst could feel his face go red up to his hair. “Oh, I don’t – I mean, um, I think that’d-“ The sound of his own stammering response compounded Tryst’s embarrassment until he thought he might implode. “I’m just gonna…” Tryst said, gesturing toward his bag before slipping inside, locking the door, and hiding under the coffee table. He stayed there until Dalliance got home and stuck her face under the table.

“Trystan. What are you doing?” Tryst was so shocked still he didn’t even make fun of her for trying to do Vous-Vous’ serious face.

“Hiding.”

Dalliance took in the empty, undisturbed house. “From what?”

“There was a boy.”

“What, that kid who’s always eyeing you at the junk shop? I passed him on my way in.” Dalliance’s face passed through concerned into enraged. “Did he threaten you or something?”

“No,” Tryst blinked wide eyes at her. “He asked me on a date.”

Dalliance didn’t say anything for a long moment. Tryst stared into space. “Okay. That kid – I don’t even know his name? – he came all the way out here to ask you on a date, and you… panicked and ran away.”

“It sounds stupid when you say it,” Tryst complained.

“Why did you freak out?”

“Because he _likes_ me.”

“And you don’t like boys? Or just him?”

“ _Dalliance_ , I’m not _straight_.” Tryst snapped.

Dalliance laughed hard enough that what’s-his-name probably heard her all the way home. Tryst crawled out from under the table and left her to it, face redder than the setting suns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I'm stepping on canon here, there's just... a lot of it. 
> 
> Next: probably scenes of the Mynock crew noticing how flustered Tryst gets with guys.


	2. Bacta and Bothans in Bars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tryst Valentine (sex criminal) has a kryptonite, and it is cute boys (in space). Bacta has average social skills (but he signed away his mocking privileges).

Tryst led Bacta around the corner into an alley where a handful of people were smoking deathsticks and chatting around the back door of a bar. Bacta vaguely remembered Tryst including “most popular bars” into their pre-mission recon and was sort of disgruntled to find out there had been an actual purpose to it. Now he was going to have to issue an apology in the post-mission brief, and Force knows when the apology cone got washed last. Tryst pulled Bacta along as he walked in, nodded at the bouncer, and made a quick path through the crowd to the bar.

“That went really well,” Bacta had to admit, although he tried not to sound surprised. _Recognition is important for group moral_ , he told himself.

“Of course it did. Now we just kick back for a couple hours and let those search times sweep right past us. Another Tryst Valentine plan goes off without a hitch,” Tryst leaned back against the bar and lowered his aviators, despite the low lighting.

“It was my plan, Tryst! _Your_ plan-” Bacta cut himself off before he earned a double apology. “Nevermind. So all we have to do is act natural, make sure nobody gets suspicious.” He eyed the other patrons, looking for anyone who might have noticed them already. 

There was a suspicious pause, and Bacta turned away from a shifty-looking Bothan, about to ask if something was wrong. Tryst had pushed his sunglasses back up to glare at Bacta-full on, and sneered as soon as he was sure Bacta would see it. “Yeah, we have to _act natural_ , in a _space bar_. Just follow my lead.”

“I can socialize! I’m social!” Bacta protested. “In fact, maybe we should split up so people don’t see us together.” Even as he said it, the concept of **Tryst Valentine alone + bar + mission** struck Bacta, but Tryst shrugged and disappeared into the crowd too quickly for him to take it back.

With a sigh, Bacta turned toward the bar and signaled the bartender. “Do you have any Mandalorian whiskey?”

* * *

A half hour or so later found Bacta still mostly sober, attempting to strike up conversation with the shifty Bothan, who’d taken the stool Tryst left, and generally on his way to almost beginning to enjoy himself. Then the bartender came over, looking concerned.

“Is something wrong?” Bacta asked, thinking maybe Leenik had been shopping on the holonet again and their card got declined. Or maybe she’d realized they were wanted criminals. One of those two things. 

“I’m not sure - you wanna check on your friend over there?” She nodded toward the booths on one side of the bar, where Tryst was sitting with some guy, apparently flirting. 

Bacta shrugged. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

The bartender shook her head. “Did you look? He seems pretty uncomfortable. I can intervene, but I know Will and he’s never been creepy before…”

Bacta looked again. _Will_ (and what kind of name is that?) was across from Tryst at the booth, leaning toward him, and Tryst… actually did look uncomfortable. “Kriff! Yeah, thanks, I’m gonna go over there now.”

Tryst was blushing harder than Bacta had ever seen - which, fair, Bacta had pretty much figured blushing was a thing Tryst made other people do. He was babbling a fair bit, his eyes darting away from Will every few seconds until they landed on Bacta, sliding into Tryst’s side of the booth and covertly pulling his blaster. 

“Bacta!” The fact that Tryst’s eyes lit up and he sounded _glad to see him_ scared Bacta more than Tryst totally ignoring their code names did. “I was just telling Will about you!”

Will shifted to face Bacta and held out a hand to shake. He had an amused sort of twinkle in his eye, a good handshake - a stupid beard, although it worked alright for him. He didn’t seem particularly threatening, and Tryst didn’t seem particularly threatened once the attention was off him. 

Will settled back in his seat and smiled. “I was just telling Tryst that I could hardly believe he didn’t come here with someone - you don’t find many guys like that without someone on their arm, not in this galaxy, anyway.”

Tryst went, if possible, even redder, and had to stop himself from covering his face. Bacta looked from Tryst to Will, an idea niggling in the back of his head.

“Yeah,” he said slowly. “He’s quite the looker, huh?” Bacta watched Tryst gape at him, wavering between confused and betrayed. 

“Gorgeous,” Will said, and Tryst blushed again and _giggled_ , which really cemented Bacta’s suspicions. “You two make a very handsome couple.”

Bacta opened his mouth to correct that they _weren’t_ a couple (not for this mission, anyway), but Tryst grabbed his hand and leaned into Bacta’s arm, nodding furiously. 

“Don’t we? It’s our anniversary actually-” Tryst started pushing Bacta out of the booth. “We came out for drinks to celebrate but we really ought to be getting back to the kids now so if you’ll excuse us!” Bacta barely had the chance to get their card back from the bar before Tryst had the two of them out into the alley again.

Half an hour, it turned out, was not enough time for the search parties to sweep past them, so the rest of their night was spent running and sneaking around until they found a decent hiding place. 

“Anakin Skywalker, Tryst,” Bacta gasped, tipping his head back against the dumpster they’d hidden in (and immediately regretting it). “What was that about?” 

Tryst raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do! We had a plan, Tryst!”

They sat in a standoff for a minute, Tryst determinedly blank-faced and Bacta getting increasingly frustrated. When Tryst didn’t break, Bacta broke out the big guns: “If you don’t tell me, then I guess I’ll just have to bring it up in the debrief. Sounds like a mystery the whole team needs to work on.”

Tryst threw up his hands. “Fine! We can talk about it, if it’s so important to you. But nothing we say leaves this dumpster.” Bacta nodded, and they shook on it, and he gestured for Tryst to continue. 

“ _Thank_ you… for _saving_ me… in the bar,” Tryst said, laying on as much sarcasm as he could.

“Careful with the air quotes there buddy, you’re halfway through your allowance. So what did that guy say that had you so rattled? I was ready to put a blaster bolt through him when I got over there.”

Incredibly, Tryst blushed again. “It was all pretty much stuff like you heard.”

Bacta raised an eyebrow. “So he just called you pretty? He seemed a little… cheesy,” _like he was ripping off your lines_ , Bacta didn’t say. “But that’s pretty benign.”

Tryst shrugged. “It wasn’t just pretty, he started off saying that I was interesting and laughing at all my jokes, and then he asked me to dance, and then we ended up at that booth and he kept complimenting me-”

“Wait.” Bacta held up one hand. “You’re saying he was… flirting with you.”

“Yes!” Tryst crossed his arms. “Obviously, Bacta! And then you tried to _encourage_ him-”

“Tryst. Did you panic, tell some guy we were married with children, and then drag us directly into the path of a search party just because some guy was _flirting_ with you?”

Tryst didn’t say anything. Bacta regretted shaking away his mocking privileges because force this was rich. 

“He wasn’t bad looking,” Bacta mused. “Not your type? Or do you not like men, I don’t know if you ever said-”

“No, he was totally hot,” Tryst groaned. “I loved the beard. And he’s a _pilot_ , Bacta.” He sounded so pathetic that Bacta almost felt bad. 

Bacta shuffled a little closer and clapped a hand on Tryst’s shoulder. “Well, better luck next time, bud.” He waited a beat before leaning in to whisper in Tryst’s ear. “After all, you _are_ quite a looker…”

Tryst’s outraged yell got them briefly captured, but it was worth it for the blush Bacta caught on his face when they were dragged out of the dumpster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't mean for that to be shippy, but maybe it is? Anyway, I was gonna give the boys Star Trek themed code names, but it got hard to follow, so instead I just plopped William T. Riker into the middle of my Star Wars (adjacent) universe. Fanfic is wild.


End file.
